While We Wait: Day 20
Each day during Advent, we will post some sort of reflection having to do with waiting, anticipation, hope. Each one will be different, each one a chance to pause and take a breath during this busy season. Past posts are archived here.
Earlier this year I found myself submerged in a terrible addiction. Now before you go jumping to conclusions, allow me to explain. This craving had nothing to do with substances or anything tangible; rather, I became an addict to change. Since entering college in 2011, I’ve been to 3 (yes, 3) different colleges, lived in 2 different states, changed my major, and took a semester off to leave the country. It wasn’t until spring of this year that I looked in the mirror and realized I had a problem. I was exhausted. Just like an addict, I couldn’t sit still. I was searching everywhere for the next adventure, the next high that might give my life value or impress the world with my vagabond capabilities. I knew I needed to change. I moved home, began work at Fellowship North, and learned how to love the present.
In this season, while we prepare for the celebration of the birth of our Savior, I’ve been considering what it really means to anticipate. As a recovering change addict, I always thought the best way to prepare for things was to only think in terms of the future while completely ignoring, and sometimes resenting the present. What I’m learning now is that anticipation and preparation are not only about looking ahead, but also being grateful for where you are and seeing the beauty from which you came from. This hasn’t been an easy journey, and I’m still learning. The Lord delights in spending time with us and if we’re always dreaming of being somewhere else, I think we miss out on really great opportunities to hear from Him. Learning to reflect in times of expectancy gives life so much more value, and in turn, we figure out how to love the present, and see it as a blessing.
Kandace is a designer at Fellowship North and a student at UALR. When she’s not working, she loves climbing mountains, eating pizza, and listening to you talk about your favorite things.